Every year at Halloween we adults are bombarded with messages about how we, as concerned, mature human beings, should show some responsibility for the impressionable youngsters who will knock on our doors and demand candy. We should do this, we are told, by refusing to give the youngsters any candy and instead give them something sensible, such as rice cakes, toothbrushes, illustrated brochures on how to avoid tooth decay, etc.
We heartily agree with this sentiment, as long as it is someone else giving out something sensible. If we are going to have anything left over from Halloween, it had better be chocolate.
A family member has a neighbor who is a dentist, and each Halloween the dentist takes quite seriously his responsibility to help children make positive choices in their lives. He offers a small cash bounty for every piece of candy the neighborhood kids are willing to bring him, thereby helping them learn that greed is a positive choice. I mean healthful eating is a positive choice! Healthful eating, yes.
No doubt this conscientiousness is due to the dentist's profession, and no doubt also due to his profession his wife buys sensible treats to pass out at Halloween, like toothbrushes, and therefore paying the kids to bring him candy is the only way the dentist can get any decent treats for himself.
But even though we adults have weighty responsibilities on this particular holiday, there are also some advantages to being an adult at Halloween. For instance, you don't have to worry about unscrupulous siblings infiltrating your stash of candy, taking your favorite kinds, replacing them with your least favorite kinds, telling your mom you ate too much candy, telling your mom that THEY are innocent, etc.
No, as adults, you and your spouse can divide any candy left over from your trick or treaters in a calm, rational manner, as shown here:
You: (reviewing the leftover candy in the bowl) Okay, here's what we have left: Hershey Kisses, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Mr. Goodbar, Hershey's Dark. Whatever we don't like I can take to work.
Spouse: I like the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
You: Me too.
Spouse: (grabs all the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups)
You: Hey, I want some, too!
Spouse: But you said you're just gonna take them to work.
You: But not the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!
Spouse: Wellll...
You: (magnanimously, suddenly remembering that there is a convenient amount of candy left in the bag that did not make it into the bowl) That's okay, you can have them.
Spouse: Thanks!
Later...
Spouse: (spotting you with several Reese's Peanut Butter Cups) Hey, where'd you get all those peanut butter cups?? Did you raid my stash? (immediately counts to make sure none is missing)
You: (piously) Nope. I got them from the bag.
Spouse: You didn't say there was any in the bag! No fair! I'm telling. I'm telling...um...the Great Pumpkin!
Of course this is NOT what happens between the Hero and me. We are able to avoid such childish displays, mainly because we eat the candy BEFORE any trick or treaters come.
Though if we were truly the responsible adults we should be, we might also be able to avoid such childish displays if we did as we are urged in these responsible times, and handed out toothbrushes.
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