My first two days at the new job have been very busy, productive, intense days. No easing into this job! No, sirree, they put me to work right away on very important tasks, such as picking out Post-It notes from the supply catalog. My head reeled from all the choices: 1x2, 2x1, 3x3 unlined, 4x6 lined, Super Sticky (guaranteed to never come off the cube it came on), Tropical, Aquamarine, Ultra, Neon Fusion, latte, decaf...whoops. Got carried away there. After poring over 6 catalog pages of sticky notes, I had to go fortify myself with a donut.
So that was pretty much the morning. In the afternoon, I geared up for yet another vital work project: lining up my paper clips in order of size and according to whether they have little ribs on them. You probably didn't know that some of your paper clips have little ribs on them. After this project -- which by the way required an impressive amount of brain power and additional donuts -- I can tell you that approximately 78% of my paper clips have little ribs on them.
I did make one major gaffe on my second day. As I was eating lunch in the company's "cafe" (French for "place where co-workers enjoy watching new employees make major gaffes"), I noticed my co-workers pulling out various sizes and shapes of reusable, environmentally friendly glass or plastic containers with lids. These containers held grapes, tomatoes, and other small, nutritious foods. I had small, nutritious foods in my lunch, too, but I hadn't packed them in glass or plastic containers. Mine were all in plastic baggies. And worse than that, each type of food was in a baggie of its own. I probably had enough to clog up the nearby landfill for a couple of hundred years. No one said anything about my obviously anti-environmental tendencies, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone anonymously puts a Tupperware catalog on my desk sometime, with little Post-It notes on the pages showing the snack containers.
The only question is, will the notes be in Aquamarine or Neon Fusion?
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