A joint mission against senility

We are told constantly that if we want to stave off Alzheimer's in our old age, there are certain things we should do while still young. I can't remember what they are, but a co-worker of mine does her part by memorizing her grocery list. She attempts to make words out of the first letter of each item on her list, which is a great way to stimulate the brain, provided you (a) remember the word you created and (b) remember what all the letters stand for. Also (c) remember where the grocery store is.

Before a recent shopping expedition, my co-worker, Pat, studied her short list of items, trying to make an acrostic that would help her remember them. O. M. Y. M. M.

"MOMMY," she said to her husband. "We need to get MOMMY at the store." And off they went.

I might point out here the willingness of Pat's husband to accompany her on this MOMMY mission. I have often pointed out, to a certain someone, the willingness of many of my friends' husbands to go grocery shopping with their wives, and what joy this must bring to a couple. However, this certain someone believes, very strongly, that there are MANY paths to joy, most of which do not lead down aisles of pickles and Ty-D-Bol.

My co-worker and her husband quickly gathered their items at the store. Obviously enjoying this special time with his wife, the husband asked, "Are we done yet?"

Pat looked through the items. "No, we still need one more M."

"I think we're done," he insisted.

"We only have OMMY," she said. "We need another M."

"Well, what is it?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said impatiently. "But it starts with M."

They stood in thought for some moments, visions of M items dancing in their heads. They already had mayonnaise. Did they need mineral water? Muesli? Mousetraps? Finally they gave up and headed to the checkout with their OMMY items.

They waited patiently for their turn to pay. "Mustard!" her husband suddenly shouted, startling everyone else in line.

Pat gave him a smug look. "I told you we needed another M."

So I highly recommend this technique of strengthening your memory cells. But if you are forced, through circumstances beyond your ability to manipulate your spouse's will, to do the grocery shopping ALONE, you might want to carry along the list of your grocery items anyway, just in case.