The Hero turns over a new leaf

Joe and I have always been very open with each other about our faults. One day, in a desire to be completely free of the bondage in which a particular fault had held him lifelong, he admitted to me, "I just have a hard time spending large amounts of money."

"Oh, sweetie," I said, looking at him with great compassion, as I personally have never experienced this difficulty. "I can help you with that problem," I said. "That's what spouses are for, right? We help each other where we're weak." I assured him that if he just listened to me, he would soon be spending money freely and with abandon. For the first time, he would be truly living!

Before he could change his mind and slide back into his old, reluctant-to-part-with-money ways, I whisked him off to the furniture store to order our sofa. Some of you may remember this sofa, which was reputed to "add a surprise from the derriere," and though we still fail to comprehend what, exactly, this "surprise" is, the sofa has remained our favorite for quite some time -- long enough that we were surprised that it remains in production, and has not been relegated to some furniture museum somewhere ("This piece was purported to surprise one's derriere, but merely confused one instead").

The salesman who benefitted from Joe's change of heart regarding purchases was happily surprised that we did not dally long over such a large purchase. He briskly put the order through, and soon it was time for Joe to show that his change of heart was indeed real, and sign the electronic credit card pad.

Here the salesman and I both experienced a moment of doubt. Or perhaps panic. Would Joe sign? He seemed to hesitate slightly. We held our breath, although for the salesman the act of Joe's signing meant merely a tidy commission, and with very little effort on his part. He could not know that history was being made.

I readied myself, if necessary, to grab Joe's hand and help him complete the signature. He was so close; I could not let him falter in his resolve to put his old habits behind him. Sometimes, love is tough.

Each letter was painstakingly formed, and at long last the final "t" was crossed. I felt a new thankfulness that Joe's name is rather short, and not something like John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. It may very well have made the difference between freedom, and falling off the wagon.

Now for that new bed....