Exercise, anyone?

Ah, there is nothing quite like a brisk, early morning sprint, particularly when it involves running down a steep flight of stairs in your own home, careening through the entire house, dodging pieces of furniture, sprinting out the door, and coming to a skidding stop at the garbage cans, because you have suddenly realized that you forgot to put the trash out. You realize this because you hear the unmistakable sounds of the garbage truck very close by. 


There is no time to stop and put on proper shoes, so you go out into the rain in your bare feet. But now the garbage truck driver sees you, and understands instantly that you are not prepared. You race to put the trash cans in place at the curb. HE guns the truck to pass you by, or at least splash you. But you are quicker. In defeat he stops to let his henchmen empty your trash cans. You win!


Now you can trudge back inside and return to the sound sleep from which you were awakened, because the evil garbage truck comes at 4 in the morning.


Of course, this scenario never happens at OUR house. I am only speaking in hypotheticals here. Sometimes, hypothetically, you will also see your neighbor taking HIS trash out after his own sprint through the house. You nod sheepishly at each other, secretly glad that you are not, hypothetically, the only knucklehead who has neglected to put out the trash at a decent hour the night before.


Luckily, this little sprint to put the trash out could count toward your exercise for the day, particularly if the experience elevated your heart rate. This is likely, since you do not want to be outwitted and have your trash remain with you for a whole extra week. "No trash left behind" is an important homeowner's motto.


But this may not be the end of your travails. Sometime later, at a more decent hour to be awake, you leave the house to go to work, and somehow, somewhere along your route it will be there -- the evil garbage truck, right in the middle of your path. And peering out the driver's side window will be the driver himself, grinning an evil grin. Score one for the garbage truck!


No problem. Next week maybe you'll have the chance to even things up. Hypothetically, of course.