Wimpiness is catchy

Maryland, my adopted state, is -- I say this lovingly -- wimpy. Or more accurately, Marylanders are wimpy. A report of a single snowflake sends our state into panic. Buy milk! Buy bread! Shut the schools! We may be housebound for a week! This snowflake could be forecast for Montana, and Marylanders would still be calling for the National Guard.


The Hero and I, however, come from good, hearty Midwestern stock. Having experienced REAL winters in our native states, we know that this behavior is irrational. I mean, you need at least THREE snowflakes to make a storm.


But something is changing. On our trip to Michigan over Christmas, we arrived at my parents' church on Christmas Day. Before we got out of the car, I looked around at the other people going in. They were not wearing coats. The Hero and I were wearing, respectively, a substantial wool coat and a down jacket.


"Oh, no," I said in dismay. "It's 38 degrees out, and none of these people are wearing coats. Look at us. We're turning into wimpy Marylanders!"


This was a sobering revelation, and we were suitably ashamed. The Hero started inching out of his coat.


"We have to retain our hearty Midwestern ways!" I said. "We should be able to handle a little cold...boy, I sure hope they have the heat on inside."


It was sunny that day. In Michigan, if the sun is shining it is considered warm, no matter the actual temperature. Sun + 78 degrees = warm. Sun + minus 78 degrees = still warm. In Maryland, sun is irrelevant. 78 degrees = better think about putting another layer on.


A couple of years ago we had Snowmaggedon. Things were pretty much shut down for a week. Kids used up all their snow days for the next 15 years. Our mail and paper ("Neither sleet nor rain nor snow will keep us from our post -- OK, let's just take snow off that list") were not delivered for two weeks. We were the laughing stock of places like Montana, where a single snowfall can completely cover all the buildings. THEY dig themselves out, and then they go about their daily routine, such as attending the town barbeque.


Now, not ALL of Maryland is wimpy. In the western part of the state, where there are mountains, they do not get all excited about a single snowflake. This is good, because they routinely get bajillions of snowflakes per season.


But for the rest of us, you can actually hear a little whimper when snow or ice is headed our way. It's been very warm this particular winter, but we know It's coming sometime.


The forecast for tonight and tomorrow is (this is official) "weird winter stuff." Were I still living in Michigan, such a report would barely register with me. I MIGHT decide to wear shoes, instead of flip flops. But like the wimpy Marylander I fear I am becoming, I am planning to work at home tomorrow.