Those of us who venture into shopping malls and stores on Black Friday face an adventure replete with drama, intrigue, strategy, and yes, danger (Will the nearest restroom be closed for cleaning?). It is thus important to have a strategy for facing all of these challenges head-on (such as Don't drink ANYTHING).
A Female Relative and I have our Black Friday routine down to a science. Here is our typical game plan:
1. Drive to mall: 23 minutes
2. Look for parking space: 77 minutes
3. Shed unnecessary outdoor clothing and stash in car: 6 minutes
4. Dash to mall entrance in freezing cold weather: 0.63 seconds
5. Shop: 1 hours, 21 minutes
6. Check watch to see whether it's time for a break yet; too early
7. Decide to take a break anyway, go to cookie shop: 12 minutes
8. Shop: 58 minutes
9. Think about lunch: 49 minutes
10. Look for available table in food court: 3 hours, 6 minutes
11. Eat cold lunch: 2 minutes
12. Stand in restroom line (me): 22 minutes
13. Use men's room instead (Female Relative): 1 minute, 30 seconds
14. Shop: 2 hours, 28 minutes
15. Think about getting Starbucks: 0.6 seconds
16. Wait in line at Starbucks: 2013-2019 AD
17. Become eligible for Social Security benefits due to long wait at Starbucks
18. Wait in restroom line: 35 minutes
19. Shop: 52 minutes
20. Get another cookie: 9 minutes
21. Declare shopping trip a success, look for car: 34 minutes
And most important,
22. Sleep: 365 days, until next Black Friday
4 comments:
GREAT Black Friday shopping strategies. Thank you for sharing...Good luck with your shopping adventure!
I was informed by an anonymous informant that your own Black Friday adventure was "more of a token shopping trip." Perhaps I should have shared my strategies sooner!
Perhaps the anonymous informant should learn to not spill the beans...
Perhaps I should learn to not give away my anonymous informant's tips...
Post a Comment