We're pleased to announce the results of the first-ever Slightly Humorous survey: 99% of those surveyed think the Gallant Hero should run for president. No, wait, that's a different survey (one that, as far as we know, is not real, but why not go for it -- there are some openings now!).
The lone respondent who claimed to believe that Joe is not treated fairly in this blog was, surprisingly, Ronald Reagan. Ha! Just kidding. Mr. Reagan had, officially, "no comment" on this survey. Of course the respondent I am referring to was Joe himself, but as the other 80% of respondents did not agree, obviously he needs to rethink his answer and get with the majority, particularly if he wants to be president.
We can extrapolate many other interesting facts from this survey ("extrapolate" meaning "to manipulate" or, more simply, "to make up"). For instance, 66% of respondents said they like the Prissy Princess and Gallant Hero stories the best, and of course 100% of those like the Prissy Princess (just kidding, Hero!).
One person said they enjoyed the stories that make fun of relatives. Shame on this person, who, statistically speaking, has a 99.9% chance of not being a relative I have made fun of in this blog. Also, you will have noticed that the same number of people prefer house sagas as enjoy travel tales. I have no idea what this means, but I thought I would point it out.
"Icky bug stories" got zero votes. (The bugs were very downcast at this news.) Perhaps I should stop putting warnings on the posts about icky bugs so that people will actually read them.
One person admitted to not realizing that the posts have topics; I think this must be the same person who forgot to vote on the second question.
In the interest of full disclosure, we should mention that this survey has an error margin that's pretty high (the square root of PI + prime, multiplied by the number of people in any given country who hate math story problems [2,467,893]). This is how I learned statistics, anyway. It may differ slightly from how you learned statistics, but that is perfectly acceptable. In fact, the word "statistics" comes from the root word "extrapolate," and we've already learned what that means.
But lest you think this was just some mindless survey that serves no useful purpose, let me assure you that this is not the case. Your responses will help shape the very direction of this blog for 2008! For instance, since the survey revealed that 60% of respondents ("60%" being a scientific term for "a whole lot") do not know the definition of "fairly," I think helping us all learn this definition should be a top priority for this year. And to show you how serious I take this responsibility, I am not above sneaking this term into a future survey to provide some motivation for learning it.
There are other interesting things we could mention about this survey, but since they were "not statistically significant" we will not include them here. "Not statistically significant," as any serious scientist knows, refers to something the statistician does not agree with and so will conveniently ignore.
Well, that is about all I can extrapolate from this survey, so stay tuned for the next one!
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