Product manuals and labels sure are more complicated now that they have to explain things in 10 different languages. Whereas instructions for operating a 747 plane used to be only a couple of pages long, when they were only in English, now even a box of pencils has to be shipped by freight to accommodate the multi-language instructions. Looking at these things can be quite daunting until you realize this.
When I bought a new vacuum cleaner a few years ago, my dad insisted I return it the instant he saw the instruction booklet. It rivaled the phone book in size, and he was convinced that we would need an advanced degree just to read the Table of Contents.
"You'll never be able to work that thing," he said. "Look how many pages are in this instruction manual!"
I flipped through it. "Dad, the only reason this booklet is so long is that all the instructions are repeated in different languages."
"What?"
"In addition to telling you how to run the vacuum in English, they also tell you in French, Spanish, German...something that looks like it might be Creole...the actual instructions in English are only one page long."
He stared at me. "That's it? One page to find out how to run that complicated thing?" He gestured toward the vacuum. "You'd think they'd have more to say about it than that."
First the instructions were too long, then they weren't long enough. I gave up.
"Does this mean I can keep it?" I asked.
"I guess so," he said.
"Danke schoen," I said.
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