On borrowed time

Incredible though it may seem, there was a time -- at least, this is what they tell me -- when, to renew your library book, you actually had to go to the library and renew it in person. And the book had to make an appearance, too. Now, of course, it may not even be a real book you're reading, and instead of borrowing it from a real place, you might download it from a cyber library, which is run by 12-year-olds who were always getting kicked out of their community library because they didn't shush when the librarian said shush.

I tried to do this once. I mean download a borrowed book. But those 12-year-olds are clever. They can sense when the person wanting to download the book has absolutely no idea how to do it, and so they encode the book with secret directions that ensure that you will never find it on your computer, perhaps by naming the file something like MSna471bp instead of War and Peace or instructing the file to hide in a folder called Addresses 1972.

So mostly I stick with getting old-fashioned books from the brick-and-mortar (actually it's more like cement block) library. Aside from the fact that printed books are idiot-proof, I prefer them over reading something on the screen. I have noticed a disturbing trend, however, regarding the renewing of library books.

They say the average person's attention span is getting shorter and shorter, so it is a mystery to me why libraries still loan you books for three whole weeks. In the past, sure, this made sense -- it might take you two of those weeks just to get home from the library, going uphill in a snowstorm on foot. But today, so we keep hearing, readers want something that can be digested quickly, like taking a vitamin instead of having a breakfast consisting of actual food.

And on top of the three weeks, you usually get two chances to renew your books, for a total of nine weeks. Nine weeks! Who remembers what they even borrowed that long ago, or why? I think this just encourages us all to be lazy. With our shorter attention span, no one needs nine weeks to read a book, even if it is War and Peace. But, since we have the easy option of renewing our books online, by golly, we're gonna take all nine weeks!

Now, if I were running things at the library, whenever someone tried to renew a book online -- or on the phone, for that matter -- I would make the person complete a survey first:

Are you renewing your books because
a) Your spouse or child has had major surgery and has run you ragged going to the drugstore for prescriptions and making homemade chicken soup and going back to the drugstore for facial tissue WITH lotion in it and so you have not had time to read this book? (this is an acceptable reason for renewal)
b) You know you have the book somewhere, but have not been able to locate it since you came back from vacation and need more time to look for it (e.g., call the resort where you stayed, check with the airlines, clean out your suitcase, etc.)? (weak, but also an acceptable reason)
c) You have been too lazy to read this book knowing you can renew it for three more weeks? (the book is due back, on our desk, in FIVE MINUTES, or we will yank your library privileges AND tell your mother)

I have returned books to the library unfinished despite having had the full nine weeks to read them, simply because I knew that I could keep renewing them. So I think we would all be much better off if we were allowed to check out a book for, say, just three days. This would make us choose our books with more care in the first place. War and Peace would become an in-library-only book, and everyone would be fighting over Make Way for Ducklings.