Reading this will bring you good luck

If you are not the type of person to be superstitious, you are really missing out. There are plenty of great superstitions out there; you are very likely to find at least a few that the average superstitious person has never thought of. Here are a few of our personal favorites:

1. Seeing an ambulance is unlucky, unless you pinch your nose or hold your breath until you a) see a black or brown dog. Or b) pass out. Our advice, if you are unlucky enough to have a medical emergency and it becomes necessary for you to compound your unluckiness by riding in an ambulance, is to keep your eyes tightly shut at all times so as not to see the ambulance. Perhaps you could also have an Emergency Medical Transport Procedural that says that in the event that you are unable to perform these duties yourself, the paramedics have to keep your nose pinched for you and/or make sure you don't breathe.

2. If you get a chill or sudden goosebumps, it means someone is walking over your grave. The keen reader will observe that if he or she gets sudden goosebumps while in the grave, he or she has bigger problems.

3. A picture of an elephant brings good luck, but only if it faces a door. It is unclear whether the PICTURE or the ELEPHANT should be facing a door, but just to be sure, it seems prudent to have ALL the pictures and ALL the elephants in your house facing a door. (And if you have more than one elephant, you should probably have more than one door.)

4. If an eyelash falls out, put it on the back of your hand, make a wish, and throw it over your shoulder. If the eyelash flies off your hand, your wish will be granted. WARNING: USE ONLY EYELASHES. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS WITH CONTACT LENSES. At least not any you want to keep.

5. A cricket in the house brings good luck. But only if this superstition is followed by another: A frog brings good luck in the house it enters.

6. If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember the answers. The Gallant Hero looks forward to trying this out for us on his next math test. Just as soon as we find the pencil.

7. If three people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first. This explains why people are always trying to rope you into being in their photograph.

8. Three seagulls flying together directly overhead are a warning of death soon to come. To the one in the middle.

9. If a young girl catches a ladybug and then lets it go, the direction in which it flies away will be the direction from which her future husband will come. But remember, It is bad luck to kill a ladybug. Especially before you see which direction it WAS going to fly away in.

10. Having 10 superstitions is unlucky, so we will stop here.