Scared passenger on board

Joe and I always try to sit next to each other when we fly, mainly so I can keep the SkyMall magazine away from him. But on our trip over Christmas we had to be rebooked a few times, so we were at the mercy of the airline personnel as far as seating arrangements, and let's just say they were not full of good cheer and merriment. We got used to asking random strangers on the plane if they minded switching seats with us so we could sit together, although we employed somewhat different methods when doing so:

My method: Excuse me, would you be interested in moving to this lovely window seat in 23F so my husband and I can sit together? (Passenger smiles and moves to 23F)...Thank you so much.

Joe's method: Uh, you might want to switch seats with me...my wife is afraid to fly and you really don't want to sit next to her. I mean, it's not like she gets sick and throws up in the barf bag or anything. But she'll grab your arm at every little sound she hears. You won't have any skin left on your arm by the end of the flight. Heck, you might not even have any arms left at all. I remember this one time when I sat next to her... (Passenger hastily moves out of the seat, eying me and whispering frantically to the flight attendant to be seated as far away from me as possible. Other nearby passengers give me concerned looks.)

But it is worth the humiliation to be able to sit next to Joe. Because at least when I am squeezing the life out of his arm, he can't look at the SkyMall magazine.