What if sheep were smarter than people?

Today we examine an interesting philosophical "what-if" question regarding sheep. In the early days of sheep, they shed their fleece naturally. But what if they hadn't shed on their own, and they had had to wait around for people to figure out that they could shear them? How long would that have taken? And more important, what would the sheep have done in the meantime?

Would their sides just keep growing thicker and thicker? I imagine them growing into a giant cotton ball and just sort of rolling around, bumping into each other occasionally. It might have felt like an ever-growing, never-ending pregnancy, only with a blanket smothering them. Could they even see? If someone in outer space had been looking at our planet, would they have concluded that on certain parts of Earth it was always winter, because all they could see was white fluff?

If sheep had depended on people to shear them, and the people weren't getting it, the sheep probably would have tried numerous ways to communicate this.

Claude the sheep: Baaa! Baaa!*
Clueless person: Oh, look how cute! He wants to play!

*Get this wool off me, you idiot. I'm roasting.

The sheep might have kept "playing," nudging people, following them around, baaing all the time. When that didn't work, the sheep might have fetched some shears and dropped them at people's feet, hoping they would get the hint. They might even have put on a little show for the the people, pantomiming the shearing process.

Finally, with all other options exhausted, the sheep might have been driven in desperation to arrange their cotton ball bodies into a message on a hillside: FOR GOODNESS' SAKE SHEAR US!

Clueless person 1: Look! The sheep are gathering on the hill! It's a sign!
Clueless person 2: What does it mean?
Clueless person 1: I have no idea.

When humans did eventually figure out that they could harvest the wool from sheep, FINALLY the sheep would have been able to do what they had wanted to do all along: pack their bags and head to Aruba.