A laborious Labor Day

Yesterday the U.S. celebrated Labor Day. From a poll of friends and acquaintances the day before, it was concluded that most of us were pretty much going to concentrate on resting from our labors on that day. One acquaintance declared that he planned to do "absolutely nothing."

"Not even get out of bed?" the Hero asked.

"Well, yes," he said. "But only to move to the couch."

Couches are fine things for napping, because you can convince yourself that you are NOT going to use the couch for napping; you are going to sit, upright, and read something very intellectually stimulating. If instead you opt for a bed, however, there is no pretense that anything intellectual is going to occur. You are outright saying to anyone interested, "I am now going to remove myself from consciousness for a period of time." With a couch, you can keep up the appearance that you are fully conscious and engaged in some fascinating book, or TV program, and have no intention of falling azzzzzzzz.....

Even once you fall asleep on the couch, you can pretend you are NOT asleep should anyone inquire. The trick is to keep whatever you were reading from falling on the floor so that at a critical moment, when you feel your spouse's eyes on you endeavoring to divine whether you are awake or not, you can hold the book aloft. "I'm reading! See?"

On the other hand, if it is your child's eyes you feel on you, you may want to give the book a little shove over the edge of the couch to cement the illusion that yes, you are asleep, and no, you are not available for playing horsey or catch or putting together a shopping mall with 2,762 Legos. And you are not likely to be for some time yet.

As he got older, my father ceased to need an entire couch to himself when he napped. He simply fell asleep where he sat, sometimes even while holding his arm outstretched, the remote gently rising and falling with his breathing in the general direction of the TV. Once we even took a picture of him in this state to prove to him what we had witnessed, but he maintained that he was -- you guessed it -- NOT asleep.

At our own house this Labor Day, the Hero deposited himself on the couch with a new Kindle book, fully intending to read a good portion of it. He took great pains to express his interest in this book so that there would be no confusion about the activity that was taking place, there on the extremely comfortable couch. Soon, however, I noticed that he and the Kindle had moved to a reclining position. "I'm reading," he said when I took note of his downward slide.

Soon the Kindle was feeling neglected and abandoned. It, too, fell asleep.

I myself had planned to do some reading and journaling while sitting on the couch, but this was now impossible. 

Luckily, we have two couches. And luckily, there was no one awake to see me abandon my book and fall into a sweet dreamland.