An important part of job searching is filling out a job application form, which, despite its name, you are unlikely to see at the professional level until after you have actually accepted a position. It is not clear why this is so, other than that it has been this way since HR was invented and so shall it ever be. Clearly these forms could use a more appropriate title, although a change of this magnitude may make HR departments uncomfortable, so perhaps we could strike a compromise and call it something like Post-Job Acceptance Job Application Form.
Most application forms have similar features: They were written sometime in the Bronze Age, and have been photocopied so many times that the type is not only faint and difficult to read, not all of it is actually on the form anymore. You will be reading along and see "Please indicate date of," and whatever it is they want the date of has long since fallen off the side of the page.
But job applicants should not let this deceive them into thinking that the information being asked for is not important. Apparently it is very important to employers where you went to grammar school (further proof that the forms were invented in the Bronze Age), because the forms give you as much room to write about grammar school as about any universities you have attended. Further, you are expected to record the subjects you studied in grammar school. Sometimes this information may be difficult to remember, as many of us attended grammar school about the same time these application forms were invented. In case you need some hints about subjects you may have studied back then, answers to this question typically include how to get boys (or girls) to like you, how to be teacher's pet, how to stop being teacher's pet, and how to survive dodge ball in P.E. class with all your body parts intact.
Sometimes there is a section on the job application form for the applicant to list his or her special skills. This is a chance to showcase any particular talents that may set the applicant apart from the competition, although as we have already stated these forms are generally filled out after accepting a job offer, so these skills may not be all that helpful in this regard. Some applicants may have difficulty coming up with special skills that are applicable to the job situation, so here are some examples: surviving dodge ball with all my body parts intact, appropriating fellow employees' lunches, and giving full attention to my work with my eyes closed and while snoring.
Employers also want to know your employment history on these forms, although this information generally also appears on your resume. This gives support to the suspicion many job seekers have, which is that no one actually reads resumes. But I digress.
In the employment history section of a job application, you should give the employer some idea of what your past jobs entailed. A good job description, therefore, may be something like Brownie and Bonbon Connoisseur. In the job task column for this position, you might write something helpful such as Duh.
Another very important section on the form is the Emergency Contact section. Having an emergency contact will help your employer quickly contact a responsible party in the event something untoward happens to you while at work. For this reason, the application always asks for this individual's address, as in their street address. Presumably in an emergency an employer will thoughtfully compose an urgent letter and deposit it into the care of the postal system, whence it will be speedily delivered just as soon as they get around to it. In my case, for example, such a letter might include the following: Dear Hero, Your wife has suffered minor injuries due to an unfortunate incident with a stapler. We have administered chocolate, but we think she needs more advanced medical attention. Please advise. Yours truly, etc.
That about wraps up the job application form, other than your signature, which will be scientifically analyzed for clues to your personality, trustworthiness, ability to sustain life for days while your emergency contact is contacted, etc. If you have any further questions about the job application form, be sure to contact your nearest HR department at (123) 365-7
(Our apologies, the form ran out of room.)
Most application forms have similar features: They were written sometime in the Bronze Age, and have been photocopied so many times that the type is not only faint and difficult to read, not all of it is actually on the form anymore. You will be reading along and see "Please indicate date of," and whatever it is they want the date of has long since fallen off the side of the page.
But job applicants should not let this deceive them into thinking that the information being asked for is not important. Apparently it is very important to employers where you went to grammar school (further proof that the forms were invented in the Bronze Age), because the forms give you as much room to write about grammar school as about any universities you have attended. Further, you are expected to record the subjects you studied in grammar school. Sometimes this information may be difficult to remember, as many of us attended grammar school about the same time these application forms were invented. In case you need some hints about subjects you may have studied back then, answers to this question typically include how to get boys (or girls) to like you, how to be teacher's pet, how to stop being teacher's pet, and how to survive dodge ball in P.E. class with all your body parts intact.
Sometimes there is a section on the job application form for the applicant to list his or her special skills. This is a chance to showcase any particular talents that may set the applicant apart from the competition, although as we have already stated these forms are generally filled out after accepting a job offer, so these skills may not be all that helpful in this regard. Some applicants may have difficulty coming up with special skills that are applicable to the job situation, so here are some examples: surviving dodge ball with all my body parts intact, appropriating fellow employees' lunches, and giving full attention to my work with my eyes closed and while snoring.
Employers also want to know your employment history on these forms, although this information generally also appears on your resume. This gives support to the suspicion many job seekers have, which is that no one actually reads resumes. But I digress.
In the employment history section of a job application, you should give the employer some idea of what your past jobs entailed. A good job description, therefore, may be something like Brownie and Bonbon Connoisseur. In the job task column for this position, you might write something helpful such as Duh.
Another very important section on the form is the Emergency Contact section. Having an emergency contact will help your employer quickly contact a responsible party in the event something untoward happens to you while at work. For this reason, the application always asks for this individual's address, as in their street address. Presumably in an emergency an employer will thoughtfully compose an urgent letter and deposit it into the care of the postal system, whence it will be speedily delivered just as soon as they get around to it. In my case, for example, such a letter might include the following: Dear Hero, Your wife has suffered minor injuries due to an unfortunate incident with a stapler. We have administered chocolate, but we think she needs more advanced medical attention. Please advise. Yours truly, etc.
That about wraps up the job application form, other than your signature, which will be scientifically analyzed for clues to your personality, trustworthiness, ability to sustain life for days while your emergency contact is contacted, etc. If you have any further questions about the job application form, be sure to contact your nearest HR department at (123) 365-7
(Our apologies, the form ran out of room.)
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