In case of a potential accident

The Hero heartily endorses the Princess Early Warning System (PEWS), which operates in his car whenever the Princess happens to be a passenger. This system engages automatically in situations of perceived threats to the car, particularly those that might involve the side where the Princess is sitting. According to the Hero, the PEWS works thus:


1. The Princess detects a potentially dangerous driving event, such as a car attempting to occupy the space already occupied by the Hero's car, or a squirrel crossing the car's path while the car is in park.


2. The Princess begins a series of animated hand gestures resembling Tai Chi, but at much higher speeds.


3. The animated hand gestures are accompanied by great agitation and this series of helpful warning words: "Bump. Bump. BEEEEEEEP!" 


4. The Hero laughs so hard that he nearly causes a secondary accident.


This system was fully engaged recently when it perceived that a car was in danger of backing into the Hero's car in a parking lot. The Princess is sure that PEWS saved them from imminent dismemberment, or at least a ding in the side of the car. The Hero is still trying to figure out the mysterious "Bump. Bump. BEEEEEEEP!" sounds emitted by PEWS. The Princess maintains that this feature is modeled after a similar system on her uncle's car, in which her aunt, spying a dog about to walk in front of their moving car, and meaning to tell the driver to beep at the dog, yelled instead, "Bark at him!"


The Princess Early Warning System does tend to engage in pretty much any situation when another driver (the Hero) is operating the vehicle, which can cause minor annoyances to the driver (the Hero). Perhaps some upgrades to the system are in order. Following step 4 in the process noted above, for instance, step 5 might be added, in which the Princess bops the Hero. This will add nothing to the safety features of the system, but will be quite satisfying.